A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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