our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
