My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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