I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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