it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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