told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
