I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
