In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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