we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
