the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
