Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
