i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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