just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
