I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
