I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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