Yo dont text me then not text me
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
