By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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