Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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