i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Sponge bath it is.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
