You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
