I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
There are leaves in my underwear?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
