i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize