I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
