It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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