I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
