The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
