32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
