Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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