Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
