I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
it hurts more in the daytime
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
