the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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