Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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