Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
be right there i have to get my cape
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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