Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
