That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
