I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
