This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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