Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
