this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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