The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
