8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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