Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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