butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My breasts were aching with rage.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
