We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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