Porn is love you can see.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
