please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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