i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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