My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
