Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize