I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
