brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
