If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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