what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
