Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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