its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize