Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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