It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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