I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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