I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
