my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
