I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
