You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
