it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
